Currently Listening Wildflower By Sheryl Crow see related

Well I am officially single...its good but at the same time I feel awful and rotten inside. I am mostly angry and hurt but I have to admit that a load has been lifted off of my back and I can somewhat breathe easier now. Its funny, I thought I would be really really upset, but I think that all passed before the break up. Now I'm not as hurt and just feel a little better...sorta. I just wish he would apologize and tell me that he didn't mean to hurt me. But I doubt that will happen anytime soon. If ever.

Its weird how you think you know someone when in reality you don't. It hurts so darn bad...why can't people be truthful with you upfront? Is that so hard? Putting on a mask only ends up revealing the person behind it in the end and causes more problems in the long run. Personally I have learned not to jump into relationships now...Well I won't be jumping into any for quite some time, but when I want to again, I will know better. First and foremost, I need to learn how to love again. And the heart takes time to heal...And this time around I think it will take a very very long time.

Currently Listening Retaliation By Dane Cook see related

Well its been a long time since I have posted so I figured why not? I might as well...spill my guts to the world, since I havent in like a month.

I just got back from my study abroad in Germany/The Netherlands. It was nothing short of AMAZING. I had never been to Europe or outside the US before (except Puerto Rico..) and something can definitely be said for free refills, ice in drinks, and tap water that we have here in the US. But even the fact that I didnt get those things made it even more interesting to me. Just experiencing a totally different culture and way of life (especially in Amsterdam) was so spectacular. I hope I get to go back next summer. Now I just need to keep adjusting to our time here...Jet lag sucks.

Life in general has been good! I have to say having a little bit of time off before summer classes start has been nice. Even if its basically a week....its still nice. Writing this 10 page paper for my study abroad class is going to be painful, but I will look on the bright side....it will be over soon!

 I've been staying at home these past few days which I have to say has been sweet! No cleaning, cooking or washing for a few days which rocks. I never thought I would ever say that I like organizing my room here....but its better than cleaning a whole entire apartment..thats for sure! And the home cooked meals are SO much better than ramen noodles, easy mac and pasta for dinner. You gotta love Momma's home cookin'!

So I have been thinking a lot about next yr, and what it will be like. The next school year I mean. Life goes by so darn fast, it felt like yesterday I graduated and it has been a yr already. Crazy. My sister has it hard, all of her friends will be leaving for college (since most, if not all, are a year older than her) which has to be pretty tough. I wont be home either which will be hard on her too because her and I are so close. It was hard on me when I moved out not having her around to laugh with. But thats what makes coming home so great I guess!  I get to spend some good ol' time with the fam...even if they make me mad sometimes. Or vis- versa. Cause I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Its late. No more rambling. More to come later, goodnight ya'll!

Currently Listening Money Is Still A Major Issue By Pitbull see related

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
   "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
   "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL..
   "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
   "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
   "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
   "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
   "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
   "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
   "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

 Rachael I stole that from you! I thought it was so funny/cute and I had to post it up! And the weird thing is, is that I think my mom still says ALL those things, well a lot. haha.

Currently Listening Walk the Line By Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, Original Soundtrack see related

SOoOoooo here I am a month later writing an entry....

Blah blah blah.

Thats how I feel about school.

It can go suck it for all I care.

Well, not really ...I do care, but very very little. I'm such a different student than I was in HS, its like I have transformed into a person I never thought I would be. I figured when I got into college I would be focused and motivated to succeed, but I'm not at all. I mean I want to graduate and get good grades, but I just have HAD it with studying, writing papers, dealing with professors etc....I WANNA BIG BREAK (again) !! I honestly think I am going to retake some classes this summer just to pull my adjusted GPA up because I know it is not gonna be pretty after this semester is over....uugh, I'm such a slacker! blah.

So I've been thinking a lot lately of how my life is going to change drastically next year. I am the type of person who doesnt really think of the future...I just think of today and "now". So I sat down and actually thought about what the future is bringing me...My sister will be a senior next year, and then she is gonna be off to college. How weird. Shawn is leaving me in August for boot camp with the Marines. Shawn leaving hasn't hit me yet, I mean I realize it but I havent come to grips with it yet. Granted I'm sure I get on his nerves sometimes, but I love him to death and its gonna be uber hard when hes not around to call or joke with. I dunno, I guess he will be with Will so that makes me feel a little bit better...I guess. And lastly.. Michael will be off at Southern starting in the fall which is going to be pretty hard because he is one of my best friends...or he IS my best friend. lol. When I found out from Jess  that he was leaving us, my heart stopped.

"What am I going to do?!?!"

The same feeling came over me when I was there at the recruiting station listening to Gunnary Sgt. Lard explain to me that Shawn would be leaving me for two months in August if he joins the Marines....and more after that too. Thoughts just run through my mind daily, especially at night, thinking what might happen to him if and when he gets shipped over seas after boot camp.

But like I said, I dont think of the future, I think of the "now".  So for now I will keep enjoying my time with Michael, Shawn and my sister before they leave me...for either a short or very long time. These are the moments I will cherish.

"You gotta smile at every good moment that happens because everytime you start worrying about tomorrow, a little bit of sunshine goes behind the clouds today." ( I came up with that myself...impressed?)

But..on the plus side I have Jessica, Janice, and Dane that will be here with me next year!!!!Wahoo! So I'm excited about that...thanks for not leaving me guys!!! haha.

Thats all for today!

SEMPER FI.